


Certain Conditions

by barelylegible



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Post-Season/Series 07
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-25 09:55:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16195166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barelylegible/pseuds/barelylegible
Summary: Brienne is unexpectedly and anonymously summoned to the godswood. Choices are made.





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to everyone over at JBO for the peer pressure! Double and triple thanks to sea_spirit for being a loving and thorough accountabili-beta <3
> 
> A tiny bit of set-up: Jaime and Co. have been at Winterfell together for a week or two, and he and Tyrion are on decent speaking terms. I know no one asked for more "Jaime Rides North" stories, but it's JB Week and who knows when Season 8 will drop, so I figured there was no time like the present.

“Lady Brienne, do you have a moment?”

Brienne turned to find Tyrion Lannister looking around anxiously. She and Podrick had been leaving the Great Hall, ready to retire for the night. 

“Of course, Lord Tyrion. Is something wrong?”

“No my lady, all is well. But you are needed in the godswood.”

She and Pod exchanged a look before Tyrion added, “Podrick as well.”

Brienne nodded, but as she and Pod moved to follow it occurred to her to ask who had requested them.

Tyrion gave a small, uneasy smile.

“You’ll see. Someone trustworthy, I assure you, but with a flair for the... dramatic.”

The walk to the godswood passed in companionable silence. The days had grown short, and it was already nearly dark. Brienne had several thoughts on who may have summoned them so secretively. Brandon Stark was known to all but live in the godswood, and he was often joined by one or both of his sisters. Brienne had grown close to the Starks in her short service to Lady Sansa, and still felt deep pride at having aided their reunion, in whatever small way she had. A cryptic rendezvous in the godswood seemed incredibly “Stark” to Brienne. 

The only other person who may need them, though exceedingly unlikely, was Jaime. But seeing as how she didn’t think they were currently on speaking terms, she didn’t give the thought much merit until...there he was.

The moment her mind registered his presence, she froze. Jaime stood next to the hot spring in front of the giant weirwood tree, no doubt savoring the warmth of the steam. He had his back to the path and didn’t turn as they approached, even though he surely must have heard them by now. 

Tyrion stopped, noticing she’d fallen behind. He looked from Brienne to Jaime and simply nodded. “Come Podrick, I’m sure we have some catching up to do,” he said, guiding Podrick toward a smaller path into the woods.

Brienne approached Jaime and stood next to him, facing the weirwood. He shot several nervous glances in her direction, never making eye contact. Several moments passed before he spoke. 

“I’m glad you came. I was sure you wouldn’t.”

“Lord Tyrion did not inform us who needed an audience.”

Jaime gave a small laugh at that. “I know. I asked him not to say, but I still expected you to question him to within an inch of his life or flat-out refuse.”

Brienne sighed indignantly. “Well, maybe you don’t know me as well as you thought.”

Jaime hung his head. “No...maybe I don’t. Brienne, about the other night, I…”

“No need to apologize, Ser Jaime. It was a misunderstanding,” Brienne interrupted. She had hoped not to broach the subject.

“Misunderstanding? I wasn’t going to…” he trailed off for a moment, sighed, and then collected himself. “It was  _ not _ a misunderstanding, and I  _ do _ have some things to apologize for. I am sorry for startling you. I’m sorry for not explaining myself better beforehand, nor after. I’m even somewhat sorry for not being honest in my intentions tonight.”

She looked at him. He didn’t seem finished.

“But I’m not sorry for what I said, however poorly it was received. I meant every word. And I’m not sorry for what I did, Brienne. Maybe I should be, but I’m not, and I would do it again in a heartbeat...with permission, preferably.” His smirk was light and hopeful, but with a shade of doubt. 

Brienne couldn’t look at him as she answered, feeling flushed with embarrassment. “I had never been properly kissed, Ser Jaime. You may think me girlish and sentimental, but I am still a  _ woman _ , no matter how big or mannish. I deserve to be treated with respect.”

“Of course you do.”

“Then tell me why you owe me no apology.”

“You just said I  _ didn’t…”  _ he said petulantly, still not making eye contact.

“I’ve changed my mind,” she replied coolly. “Why, Ser Jaime? You barge into my room with little to no pretense, ramble on about honor and ‘the man you’re meant to be,’ tell me you’re in  _ love _ with me, of all ridiculous things, and kiss me. No,  _ assault _ me with your mouth, not bothering to wait for a word of response nor permission from me. Does that sound like respect, Ser Jaime? Like behavior that requires no apology?”

He was quiet for several minutes, seeming to study the great weirwood before them, which was enough time for Brienne’s surge of anger to subside. She hadn’t realized until that moment how  _ angry _ she actually had been at him. How he had  _ taken _ the memory of her first kiss from her before she even knew it happened.

After she’d tossed him out of her room onto his ass and his words had settled on her, she’d regretted her reaction, but what had he expected? That she would know how to behave graciously when a devastatingly beautiful man poured his heart out to her and kissed her? A man she had longed for as well, for as long as he had allegedly wanted her? She felt equal parts joy, confusion, and embarrassment—the last two of those  _ not _ being how most people want to remember their first kiss.

“You’re right, Brienne. As usual, damn you.” He chuckled slightly, but if he thought she’d laugh at his quip, he was mistaken.

He finally looked at her, and as much as she wanted to, she could not look away. “You deserve better than to be treated the way I’ve treated you, and we both know it. Not just for that night, but for nearly every day and night we’ve known each other. I can make one and one hundred excuses for my behavior, but I know you don’t want to hear them and they won’t make a difference. I do love you though, truly. I love you for being the knight I’ve always aspired to be, and I love that I can’t seem to feel jealous of you for that. I love that you give all of yourself to the things and people you care about, and I would trust you with my life. I love your body for its strength, and because it is  _ yours _ . I love your eyes, not just for their beauty, but for the determination behind them. I love the way you look at me like I’m more than I am.”

Brienne reminded herself to breathe, but as she did she realized how watery it sounded. She could feel pressure building painfully behind her eyes, and willed back the tears.  _ One breath, and then another. I will not cry. _

Jaime went on. “Before I barged into your room that night, I was actually in this spot, brooding over everything in my life crumbling and falling apart when I realized it: everything had fallen apart but  _ you _ . From the first day I knew you, you’ve been a solid, constant force pushing me forward. Pushing me toward the man I was meant to be, or at least  _ could _ be. You should have been repulsed by my past, and abandoned me as a lost cause when I failed you over and over again. But you didn’t, even when I showed up here, alone and ashamed. You have never tried to fix or change me, only showed me the parts of myself I couldn’t see. The part of me worth your respect and, hopefully, your love. I felt that if I didn’t speak to you immediately, I would turn craven and never tell you. I’d always thought myself an articulate man, but once I was before you and spilling my heart at your feet, nothing seemed to come out right. But the look on your face as you listened  _ felt _ like acceptance, and how you looked at me…I thought I felt something between us...and when I came closer and you didn’t try to stop me...” 

He grinned a bit and added, “Even in the throes of my botched wooing, I was well aware that you’re strong enough to knock me on my ass,  _ if _ my clumsy advances had truly been unwanted.”

Brienne blushed at his insinuation, but couldn’t hold back a small smile of pride.  _ Damn you, Jaime Lannister, for being so insufferable and beautiful and seeing right through me. _

Jaime continued, “I regret that you may never see me the same way again, or be comfortable in my presence. I regret that my rash behavior may have ruined any chance of you returning my affections, but I will never regret that kiss. However unwanted it was, it was a first of sorts for me as well, and there was no one else I would have rather shared it with.”

Brienne blushed and looked away with a sigh.

“I think ‘unexpected’ would have been a been a better way to describe it,” she said quietly.

Jaime laughed and gave her a coy grin. “Not unwanted, though?” 

Looking back at him, Brienne couldn’t find an answer, but the expectant way Jaime looked at her, with his eyebrows raised like a child waiting for permission to have a sweet, made her laugh. Suddenly, the whole thing seemed so silly. They were a man and woman grown, battle-hardened and facing the end of the known world, and here they were arguing over a kiss.

“I think you owe me an apology as well, wench. Your behavior was entirely out of line, especially for something as small as an  _ unexpected  _ kiss.”

Brienne gasped, “What did you expect, Jaime?! That I would simply let some man press himself upon me and not react?”

When Jaime had kissed her, it was frantic and overwhelming, so Brienne had instinctually wrapped her arms around him and simply held on. When her brain finally caught up to the act a few seconds later and the shock kicked in, some other defensive instinct overruled the first, causing her to push him away and start sputtering incoherently about how unbelievably rude and arrogant he was. She hadn’t even realized she had a hold of his collar before she was tossing him from the room, slamming the door in his confused, perfect face.

“No, I do understand,” Jaime conceded. “But I am more than just  _ some man _ to you, aren’t I?”

Brienne sighed, and waited several moments to answer. “Of course you are, Jaime. You know you are.”

“If I had dredged up the last of my courtesies and asked your permission, would you have consented?”

“I’m sure I wouldn’t have,” Brienne answered honestly. “I would have assumed it a jest or mockery.”

Indignation flashed across Jaime’s face before turning to resolve. “Well, now that you know it  _ wouldn’t _ be a jest, and that my intentions are true, would you consent to a kiss?”

Brienne noted to herself that he still hadn’t properly apologized, and that she ought to refuse him on principle. 

“Yes, I think I would.”

At her words, Jaime took the few steps he needed to bring them face to face, slowly but with purpose. Brienne allowed him to thread his arms under hers and around her waist as she did the same, bringing them chest to chest, tucked into one another’s cloaks. She could feel him grip his right forearm with his left hand, and he allowed his arms to rest intimately in the small of her back. But as Jaime leaned toward her, she placed a hand on his chest to stop him.

“I want you to  _ ask  _ for this one, Jaime.”

“I thought I just did?”

“Say the words.”

Jaime smiled playfully at her and cleared his throat dramatically. “My dear Lady Brienne, the infallible Maid of Tarth, would you bless this poor disgraced knight with a kiss?”

Brienne furrowed her brow, pretending to think deeply. “Even though you are an insufferable ass and hardly deserving of it...yes, I think I shall.”

So she did. 


	2. Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I didn’t just ask you here to beg your forgiveness and steal another kiss, Brienne.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: The working title for this fic was "Terms & Conditions May Apply"

Brienne was too warm, and for once she was thankful for the frigid cold of the North. Between the steam of the hot spring and the warmth of Jaime against her under their combined cloaks, she was on fire. She was also thankful for the near darkness of the godswood, as her face was surely flushed and splotchy by now.

This kiss was not frantic like the first. When his lips touched hers, firmly but chastely, Jaime inhaled against her face like a man breathing for the first time, and she felt him melt against her. He moved his lips against hers, tentative and exploratory, but did not try to deepen the kiss. Brienne was surprisingly thankful for that, feeling as if her heart wouldn’t handle any more excitement this night.

After, he pulled her into an embrace, muttering incoherent thanks and apologies in her ear, and continuing to breathe her in. They stood in their embrace for a few moments before pulling back, arms still entwined around one another, hands warmed by their bodies and protected under one another’s cloaks. Jaime seemed pleased with himself, but pensive, as if he had more to say. Sensing she was looking at him, he spoke.

“I didn’t just ask you here to beg your forgiveness and steal another kiss, Brienne.”

Brienne pulled farther away from him to properly look into his face, raising her eyebrows expectantly.

“I mean...that was my main objective, but there’s something else I had hoped to discuss with you. May I speak plainly?”

Brienne snorted. “Do you ever speak any other way?”

Jaime continued, ignoring the subtle jab.

“I love you. I have loved you for some time, and I think you know that. I also suspect that you may even love me too. I’d like to marry you, Brienne.”

Whatever Brienne had expected him to say, she’d never have imagined _that_. “Jaime, stop...you can’t possibly…”

“Yes I can, and I very much _do.”_

_“_ But Jaime, you just…”

He pressed on, irritated. “You said I could speak plainly, wench, now let me finish. I _would_ like to marry you, Brienne, and I will ask you properly in a moment. But I want you to know that your answer will come with certain conditions.”

Brienne felt the urge to laugh, but it came out as a choked, nervous little sound; this was all too absurd. She pulled fully away from him now, needing to feel grounded and less distracted by his arms around her. “As if a marriage proposal isn’t madness enough, one with conditions? Honestly Jaime, you might have actually gone mad from the cold.”

He continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “In a moment, I’m going to ask for your hand in marriage. I am going to mean it, Brienne, and I expect you to answer me honestly. You have every right to refuse me, and if you do, I will not press the matter. I will never ask you again, but I will gladly continue our relationship in any capacity you will allow. Friends, strangers, or even lovers. But know this, Brienne: should you refuse my proposal but still choose me as a lover, I will never ask for your hand again, and I would expect you to claim me as your lover publicly. Whether you make that choice today or in the future, I refuse to spend another second of my life loving someone only in secrets and shadows, even if she won't have me as a husband.”

Brienne was stunned. Her first thought was to defend herself, absurdly enough. How dare he assume that she loved him, no matter how much she did? How dare he assume she would be ashamed of him, after all the times she had vouched for his honor, to his face or to others? How dare he assume that she would refuse him? Not knowing what else to say, she encouraged him to continue.

“And if my answer is yes?”

“If your answer is yes, you will marry me tonight. Immediately. Here in this godswood.”

He had indeed gone mad.

“Jaime, we couldn’t possibly marry _now_ , there’s no septon, no…” Brienne trailed off, not knowing why she even _needed_ to find reasons not to marry Jaime. Jaime seemed unbothered by her protests, and was strangely calm despite his _obvious_ madness.

“We don’t need one,” he explained patiently. “In the North, the Old Gods need no septons for a marriage. You only need a heart tree and a witness or two. Assuming ours haven’t wandered too far and been eaten by wolves…”

As if on cue, Tyrion could be heard laughing through the woods nearby. He and Podrick had likely walked all the paths in the godswood by now and were coming back to check on them.

“Why these conditions, Jaime? And no matter what my answer, why the urgency _tonight_?”

Jaime sighed and looked toward the weirwood. “I’ve spent my whole life desperate to marry the woman I loved. A woman who I thought was perfect for me, my exact match, thinking she wanted the same. And even when we _could’ve_ married, when she could have acknowledged my love and all I had done and sacrificed for her— _for us—_ she still kept me at arm’s length. I spent so much of my life giving my entire being to the great love of my life, not realizing that I hadn’t even met her yet.”

He looked back at Brienne. “How many times have I sent you away, Brienne? How long might we have been happy if I’d had the courage or good sense to see you...really _see_ you, the way I do now, instead of always sending you away and running back to my comfortable, familiar corner of hell?”

Brienne shook her head, looking for an answer. Jaime didn’t wait for her to find one, pressing on.

“Now here we are at the end of the known world, facing what could be the end of said known world, and I won’t lose you again. Now that I have found you again and there’s even the slightest chance that you love me in return, I simply must ask. Because I refuse to spend what could be the last days of my life wondering and hoping.”

There was silence for several long moments as they simply stared at one another. The warmth and giddiness of their kiss had dissipated, giving way to a silence heavy with meaning and anticipation. Brienne looked away first, unable to withstand the intensity of Jaime’s gaze.

Unable to bear the tension either, Jaime spoke again. “If you’re weighing my less-than-impressive record of vow and _oath-keeping,_ ” he paused, making sure Brienne saw his sly grin, “I can assure you I’m well on my way to becoming a man of modest honor. A man who keeps his promises.”

“You already are a man of honor, Ser Jaime,” Brienne answered with an eye roll, grateful for once for Jaime’s irreverence. They fell into a more comfortable silence as Brienne studied the weirwood before them. Jaime came to stand next to her, shoulder to shoulder, then he quietly spoke.

“So...having heard my terms, are you ready for the question, Lady Brienne?”

She continued looking at the weirwood for a moment more, then turned to Jaime and gave a quiet “yes.”

“Are you sure?” asked Jaime. “They say that words spoken before a heart tree are as good as holy vows themselves…”

“I said yes, you ridiculous man!” she interjected with a huff, then composed herself. She took a deep breath and focused her eyes on Jaime’s. “My answer is yes, Ser Jaime.”

“If you’re sure, then...Lady Brienne of House Tarth,” he began, “will you—”

“No, Jaime,” Brienne interrupted.

Jaime physically retracted from her, flustered. “No?! You didn’t even let me ask!”

“ _You_ didn’t let _me_ finish!” Brienne enjoyed Jaime’s shock for just a moment before responding with a shy smile.

“What I meant is, there’s no need to say more. You’ve said enough. My answer is yes, I accept your proposal. I will marry you, Jaime, today or any day.”

A smile slowly filled Jaime’s face before he startled Brienne with a firm, smacking kiss. Jaime then called out for Tyrion and Pod, who had been loitering in a nearby grove, trying not to eavesdrop too conspicuously. As the witnesses made their way toward the weirwood, Tyrion smiled proudly at Jaime, and Podrick was grinning back and forth between Jaime and Brienne like a fool. Brienne suspected that Tyrion had been privy to Jaime’s entire plan, and had told Pod once they arrived. Jaime used his teeth to remove the glove of his good hand, offering it to Brienne. She did the same, removing the glove of her right hand and joining it with Jaime’s left. Despite the cold, their bare hands were warm, and Brienne committed to memory the feeling of his fingers lacing with hers.

Together, they came forward and knelt before the great weirwood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Be kind to me, I'm soft & tender, and this is my first fic <3
> 
> Part II coming soon!


End file.
